Sunday, August 11, 2013
The eye of the buffalo
Tuesday, December 06, 2011
@ LPQ
Saturday, September 24, 2011
HISTORY - THENGAI'D BY THENGAI.INC
mattai thengai (coconut with husk) |
thengai without the mattai (wonly coconut) |
Thengai, aka coconut / cocos nucifera. It is a member of the family arecaceae (acc to wiki). So if it were to be christened in the traditional South Indian (S.I) way, the thengai (if it had a passport) would be named A. Mattai Thengai / A. Thengai / Mattai Thengai Arecaceae / Thengai Arecaceae.
Aruval age had yet to set in |
Vellai Pani / Snow White |
Thengai tree climber |
Asterix swear bubble |
ikuttai - accessory for imattai where the mattai gels with the kuttai seamlessly. enhances mattai values by infinity and provides it with patented high response soft touch - imattai in a ikuttai (kuttai - small puddle. [Old tambi saying - kuttaile oorina mattai / husk soaked in a puddle / branch soaked in a puddle. It literally means old stick in the mud or the frog that didnt have a passport so couldnt travel beyond its well]).
icoprai - a multi purpose renewable source of energy that can be used for cooking, to stew/marinate the head. The company is conducting cutting edge research on icoprai as an alternative for nuclear fission. Certified as the best replacement for any and all fossil fuels. No conversion kit required. Free Demos. Just give us your car/bike/aircraft.
itun / itod - this is re-packaged ielaneer in a new bottle (Note: mfd,expiry date and batch no will not be mentioned in the pack. thats coz even we dont know its vintage) that leaves u with a sense of elation and enhances hearing abilities. No white coloured earphones or fancy players required.
Maangai.inc |
Thursday, September 22, 2011
BUTT A MIND OF ITS OWN
my guess is that the drivers of both contraptions have to countersteer so as not to topple over or create another pothole as the case may be!!
Wednesday, September 07, 2011
BC LAWS
THE LAW OF CONSERVATION OF BC BC can never be created or destroyed, it just transforms from one occasion to another B-)
II LAW: A topic of BC will never die in space or time, it just rises up @ 11.5 km/hr and explodes in your face from time to time or occasion to occasion.Copy Cat Kanaan ;)
the world cup is long over but the fascination for the two songs doenst seem to get over at all. (the shakira n kanaan songs). the first time i heard give me freedom, fire....especially the opening drum roll, it reminded me of pretty old tambi song but took some time in zeroing onto it and for once the composer called deva cant be accused of doing an anu mallik!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_dcCSrGW27Q
HERE I COME THE MILKMAN - LYRICS FROM THE MOVIE BIG BROTHER MOUNTAIN
(This song would not have been possible without the able guidance and compositions of Mukunda Gopalakrishnan n Rahul Sitaraman)
here i came, the milkman;
add add aaa...aaaaaaaaaaaaah;
milch cow about sing i am,
grass give you, milk give it;
you cant do that little brother....
Half baby born fatherCow milka mother milka believe..
Its blood one partu as milku seperating cows job father
Even if it seperates with milk water mix mans brain father
Dung falling fertilizer see
Dried dung burn holy ash
What you have legacy
More tell problem
You cow type toil didn't
You man plough survive didn't
Here i come milkmaaan
Ada daaaaaaaa
Milch cow about i sing
New song tie i dance
Thandana thandana Thandana thandana
Fish die karuvadu
u die sekelton become
eye servant once told
milch cow alive milk,died means become skin
Brother,bandhi be drink goat milk
big brother here give affectionate milk
mother gave me her milk
I live by tamil milk!!
STATUTORY RAJNI WARNING
just like that air fly fly,
n beat you .....mind it..... comeaaaa (vartaaa)"
Sham the Pooh
Theres a shampoo which claims to have some ceramic cement in it; another wich claims to have some oil of dubious origin;yet another wich claims to clear ur scalp of everythng; yet another wich claims to add gloss n shine ur hair....just like cherry blossom.....
Am i missing something? thot shampoos were just diluted sodium lauryl salts wich cud b whippd up to a foam
REALISATION
Do whatever tinkering wit the Device Under Test (DUT) but always have the user manual by the side....n if possible read it before the tinkering assumes other proportions that can be justified only by choice adjectives n hyperboles which also involves a complete study of the peabrains behind micorsoft 7 and its neanderthal marketing geniuses
The Reason..as far as i am concerned
if theres one reason why i dont vote, its this-
the freebies offered by the political parties in tambi land...........n the fact that no one else is pampering me to vote!!
Tuesday, September 06, 2011
A note to the BEST bus driver
Dear bhau,
you have a big red bus with four wheels and a huge derriere, a manual steering n a very simple diesel engine i presume that roars when you increase the fuel flow. the turning radius is actually a diameter the size of regal circle. this contraption cannot go anywhere beyond a 80/100 regardless of you standing on the accelerator. Incidentally, there are no nitro boosters too if u noticed. a bit of physics with vada pav will tell u that the bus cant take off or VTOL even at max speed with a four jet engines fitted. the only persons satisfying the laws of physics would be the pedestrians n other motorists.
P.S: the domestic airport is at santa cruz, international at...the international airport, n the nearest launch site at sriharikota..oh not to forget NASA launch site at Cape Canaveral.
spidey cant fly
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spider-Man:_India
[PEPAL...LINK THE READ...OOPS...PEPLE...THE READ LINK...SORRY...READ THE LINK]
it was a the best of spider webs n the worst of spider webs; yet spidey or peter in skin tights just couldnt get his mind on the events that unfolded. he was accustomed to jumping of buildings n swinging from them in skin tights with a very bugged expression. the trans atlantic had been one long boring trip. no dovey eyed air hostess to serve, no in flight movies or a loo even. tall buildings were good, skyscrapers manageable but thats exactly what u pay as a superhero with altitude sickness clinging on to dear life on the top of an airbus a 380. spidey realised one other thing. this was the wrong flight he had boarded, rather stuck on to in the last minute. but this came later, much later,when the flight didnt land after 17 hrs n continued in its trajectory half way around the world.
spidey came out of the airport dazed by the air travel n confused by the noise of honking cars,screeching brakes n tires, the grime n sweat of bombay n not to forget the rattle of chassis on speed breakers n pot holes alike. a zeppelin couldve just crash landed instead. fortunately spidey wasnt dressed at his regal best in red n blue, but that was just as inconsequential to the clammy mumbai summer.
peter was in a quandary. he was there in an alien city with just a pair of borrowed clothes n no credit or plastic when he bumped into a weird young man by the name of pavitr prabhakar who spoke in a sing song accent. pp was also a freelance photographer who had a very similar lifestyle n friends just like his. one old couple for relatives, a girl next door dreaming of bollywood item numbers, a rich friend with an i pad n bb but just simply couldnt sync the two of em n his super rich workaholic dad who wore only green, loved his bhara kababs, owned a dozen malls n more importantly a school field trip. not just any school field trip, thetrip that changed superhero-giri forever.
pp was another snot nosed kid with a filmless camera n a camera less mobile phone at the sanjay gandhi national park where he was bitten by not just a spider but by a colony of multi coloured fluorescent spiders by the bagful. they were toxic. they were cheap recycled plastic. it was as though peter was looking through the glass with a small difference. no mushrooms or pipe smoking caterpillars sitting on top of em. sadly though caroll was dead, stan lee was too far away n sharad devarajan n his cronies at gotham entertainment group were so near yet so far. random thoughts seared through peter as tears welled up sorry webbed up......curds n whey, tuffett,muffett...spider!...damn spider!!
a wisely spent weekend that never ended
last night was a small but delightful get together. i left at 8 only to make one wise decision after another. i parked my bike nearby to take the cab to vt. the minute i sat in the cab, the rain god decided to avenge his one week lay off. i managed to get a fast local that had me in the ghatkopar premises by nine fifteen sharp. if ever there was any way to make it faster to ghatkopar from colaba....i guess its not been invented yet. the party was thanx to advaith n darshan n shraddha where i got to meet some old friends after a loong time. the food was the icing on the cake. chocolate in all its gooey creamy glory.
this morning the three of us (navjeet, sonal n me) made a very wise decision to have baked beans on toast n to see delhi belly for which we booked the tickets in the middle of the night. the movie is regardless darker than black,edgier n gross in proportions but such brilliant acts n tongue in cheek humor with brilliant dialogues n even better music still have me in occasional splits even now much to the consternation of people nearby. its a gem of a movie to say the least. briiliant work thru the movie, n if u thought that was it, the movie ends with aamir khan as disco fighter which is another outrageously hilarious item number. this was followed by lunch at urban tadka. this was one of the best punjabi lunches ive had that led to the all familiar sensation that is gastronomic nirvana.the place serves some really tasty food with an ambience thats as rustic and comfortable as home in a mall. any restaurant thats as good is tough to beat.
i came back to see a match that was a battle of wits of two of the best players in wimbledon with my namesake (harsha) in a boisterous sports bar. to beat nadal 6-1 in the second set actually requires the super human powers of a wimbledon champion. and novak proved it right in more ways than many.
i cant think of anything else to do apart from breaking into peals of laughter every time i see a santro or reminded of the dialogues from the movie or just shake my head in awe when reminded of the match.
RANDOMIZED RAIN IN MORNING TRAFFIC
Morning is when a city wakes up to go through yet another day of whatever its citizens n denizens do. for a city that claims never to sleep just like the city it pretends to be (new york), bombay too has to wake up to some sights n sounds. the most of it is during my drive to work. it may not be much of a commute by bombay standards but its interesting nevertheless; people scurrying about, garbage regularly disposed off by the bmc, street urchins just urchinning about the streets. fresh rations being off loaded at shops, taxi drivers driving like they usually do at any point of time in the day, the days catch fresh and from the rotting sea, cops on their way to work children packed in school buses, happy children playing in the rear seat of a car and the hard rain that falls washes them all.
thats exactly how i came to think up these random thoughts n put them together in one left justified paragraph. RAIN! the rain in mumbai doesnt rhyme with spain or plain. so out go shaw, pygmalion n the flower selling fair lady. (wonder if she had an umbrella or a wind cheater at the least) it was many years ago when indy pop was at its only undulation in its otherwise remixed existence that a graduate from mithibai college made a pope album (whose name ive no clue abt. the name of the album not the person) made famous by the song:
" Dekho....barish ho rahi he,
its raining, its raining, its raining;
mera dil ro raha he,
my heart is crying crying crying;
tere liye tere liye tere liye
blah blah blah blah....tik tack tik tik thak tic toc..thik thick tha"
i still remember when i saw the video whenever it was aired in superhit muqabla or ek se badkar ek (incidentally, they happened to be the only two countdown shows. seems like it was in a different era altogether) i sat stupefied at whatever was happening in the video. the background had some five ladies dressed in white coat tails n a walking stick trying to do something with an overgrown guy in a white shirt n fake curls in an equally fake fedora was hugging a pillar n crying hoarse. guess that was meant to be the official music video for someone singing as melodiously as the bremen musicians n the blind suburban singers collective. stupefied now seems a bit under rated. lets make it a slow but steady assault on the senses possibly mapping the shortest way to a mental asylum if listened to in loop or repeat mode.
as i waited at regal circle for the light to turn green, a motocross stunt unfolded. regal circle as its name says is two concentric circles between whom runs a road. the diameters, areas, area between the two circles, perimeters and other important mathematical data can be obtained from the BMC. the circle has six radial roads that diverge to different areas but converge into the same park for vehicles. having said that ill leave it to your imagination as to what might transpire when all the six traffic lights in the circle go [blink]..[blink]...[blink]......[ ]. a biker crossed me almost 30 seconds before the light could change colour.this was at the same time that another car from one of the branches proceeded in the same direction. both of them changed course at the last minute, just like two precise showpilots. n this was just the morning traffic not rush hour. obviously mumbai drivers are better equipped for air shows n fancy flying!!
it was at this precise moment that another thought crossed me like the motorist. why didnt anu malik sing about pakodas, vada pav n hot cuppa tea/coffee or a wet saree song instead of crying hearts n transliterated bilingual lyrics?
a right triangle - redefined
Gorae Pytho Pytho Gorae,
Listen to this n be enlightened;
Pandit Badri Prasad,
Har Har Bole; Sona Chandi Tole!!of rasaathi n subbalakshmi
One man's meat is another's poison,
Another's poison is yet another's rasam;
yet another's rasam is someone's mulligatawny,
someone's mulligatawny is somebody else's brandy;
somebody's brandy is our kashayam,
...fruit n nut; rum n raisin,
vodka n rasam is bloody subbalakshmi; rum n rasam is rasaathi
isnt that a fine cocktail?of airport conveyor belts n waterfalls
IMAGINE THIS
Similie: a bollywood heroine in a b grade movie where the directors idea of romancing is to make the poor lady roll down a waterfall, make her prance abt under it while the hero lazes somewhere on the sidelines, with a blade of grass b/w his teeth
Hyperbole: the same happening in the niagra or victoria with ivan lendl commenting grass is for cows...
Reality: the luggage conveyor chute at the vizag airport seems to be modelled on either of the waterbodies pouring over a billiard table,... where the luggage is tossed about n around, spun about only to land in the conveyor belt where in all probability there is a perfectly timed head on collision with someone else's luggage or with a barrier meant as a shock absorber for a medieval battering ram
old man n the stinky sea
stinking joe's
dishoom dishoom
shvei shvei..ha hu...hu fey hahhh...shhhh...hu hu...kiaii...weng fey...aaaahhh
.....
........
the hong kong equivalent of the sound effects for dishoom dishoom....aaah!!yummmm
man vs airline food
Pearls of wisdom
The yearth yis my beddde,
the sskyy yis my carpetttu yand
the yentire kireation yis my birthplace - Quick Gun Murugunpantheon+1 !!
a cpl of days ago, i was just wandering abt the streets when i stumbled upon a very uncommon deity...probly a recent addition to the pantheon.
it was a very old and rusted fire hydrant dating back to the pre-independence era with a cpl of marigold garlands n freshly offered coconuts...:-)
nirvana redef
INVICTUS - WILLIAM ERNEST HENLEY
( As quoted by Nelson Mandela/Morgan Freeman in the movie)
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole, I thank whatever gods may be
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud. Under the bludgeonings of chance
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade, And yet the menace of the years
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll, I am the master of my fate:
DARTH VADIYAR REVISITED - WITH DUE KUMBUDUS TO KRISH ASHOK :)
http://krishashok.wordpress.com/2008/03/30/the-adventures-of-darth-vaadhiar-episode-1-a-new-hopelessness/
The above tune is thanx to krish ashok that reminded me of a terrible encounter that we (Venkatesh, Vivek n me) survived when in school (X std to be very precise). Just imagine listening to the tune in the link above when reading the last four lines (the one about the mathematical genius.
[The town bus saga also began at an early hour of 0700 hrs IST but was a little more interesting with the bus ambling around the countryside, gathering speed and along with it a mélange of people; workers armed with their spades, pickaxes, tobacco and betel leaves heading for an early day; early office goers with their handbags, shouldered bags and lunch; children heading for school; vendors carting their wares and daily fresh provisions; farmers with their produce to the weekly shanty; the odd pious pujari in white heading to his temple and favourite God; students heading for college, all rocking to deafening Tamil film music blaring out from speakers located at the most inconceivable places. The music largely depended on the mood swings of the driver-conductor duo ranging from yesteryear celluloid hits to Rajni songs, sentimental theatrical takes on life songs, just hit the bottle songs, dancing around the tree songs, running around the tree songs or some religious song just to add that bit of faith in their day to day lives and penitence for the previous day’s drinking binge. Things were no different either; kids being pitch forked ahead into baskets of vegetables, last minute homework, penultimate minute studies sprinkled with generous unsolicited advice from some unknown mathematical genius who had the rules of trigonometry embedded into a micro chip in his forty odd year old brain ready to be thrown at unassuming school students. (He much later bore a great resemblance to the Colombian knife thrower in the Antonio Banderas movie- The Desperado; dressed in a white veshti, his forehead smeared with three white stripes of ash, armed to the teeth with his theorems, axioms, proofs which could be thrown at ease like the stilettos and a X standard Maths text book for reloading when required)]
(An extract from http://sreeharshas.blogspot.com/2008/01/journey-to-school.html)
Friday, December 17, 2010
The bus trip
I’ve been travelling in and out of buses like every other person who sits in the next seat, especially if there aren’t any rail or air services to the destination. More often than not the overnight trips have been made interesting by some unheard of movie or a well heard of movie meant to be given the miss at any cost. There have been some movies that have made many a trip worthwhile, like Wanted, Veer, Karzzz, and some other hindi and a gujrati movie i can’t remember and not to forget Varalaru, some unknown vijay and vijaykanth sorry captain vijaykanth movies in tamil and of course some telugu movies that i couldn’t pronounce then and can’t remember now.
Just some weeks back I was on a trip to Pondicherry and then later on to Bangalore but both the occasions the journey was uneventful with no movies played. Somehow i couldn’t sleep without the noise and cacophony that ensues when a movie is played in a closed space. I remember distinctly the two of them combining to form a perfect syncopated lullaby and also as the only other place where I could get to watch many an unwanted movie which could claim they had one more person watch it to make it to the records and awards. Guess it was fun and insomnia while it lasted.