Tuesday, March 07, 2006

scenes from a seminar/crumbs of wisdom(as u like it)

SCENES FROM SEMINAR/CRUMBS OF WISDOM (as u like it)

CLAIMER: THIS ARTICLE HAS BEEN EDITED & COMPILED BY ME & MY GOOD FRIEND MANISH KHANNA WHO LOVES HIS HAND SIGNAL AS MUCH AS HIS BIKE.


Seminars are a very novel means of swapping info and transforming some lower souls till they start resembling Buddha with a shiny bright halo at the end of the day. A truly disorganised seminar leaves its stamp of class with stale coffee, insipid tea, snacks that are look-alikes of UFO (Unidentified Fried Objects) and not to forget mementoes that resemble empty cola bottles from the nearby café. No seminar is incomplete without its colourful scenes and a predominantly stoned look in the audience. Here are some thoughts that over sped through two exceptionally brilliant minds on their highway to nirvana and enlightenment.


0800 What do u realise sitting here?

0805 What a waste of time?

0810 Are we really fools in sheep’s clothing?

0820 People have too much time.

0900 Nature’s law still holds true; the fittest survive till the end of the day.

0920 Theory of evolution; how a sleeping man evolves?

0930 Every 10 minutes u need to shift Ur ass – to realise that u have an ass and are not one.

0945 We are born to be screwed

1000 The attention span of the average guy is inversely proportional to the time spent listening.

1015 All people nodding their heads are either sleeping or haven’t understood anything.

1030 Pissing is contagious, so is yawning.

1045 Feel good factor-look around u, its not just u that’s sleeping.

1100 Pity the moderator.

1145 I smile bcos I don’t know what’s going on around me.

1245 The questions almost always fly over ur head, but the answers always boomerang with a knock out punch in the face.

1315 We are the worst hit of all; both time and space ain’t with us.

1330 Better get used to all this……much more heading Ur way.


Lunch...................................................................................... at last

1445 Garfield should have been here. On second thoughts……… why not Calvin?

1500 Lectures have the best ambience for sleeping.

1530 The warning bell is not to inform the last 10 minutes to the speaker, but to wake up the audience & tell ‘em to gear up for the next one.

1545 Who says time flies by, even the sloth is faster than father time …….. & the speaker.

1600 The number of doubts asked is inversely proportional to the time left for tea & lunch.

1630 Shit!! The bloody hall is nearly filled…… with empty chairs save for us idiots filling the backbenches. Who is this nut speaking to?



FRRRRRRR............................................EEEEEEEEDOMMMMM

1 comment:

Deepak Balaji said...

Dude, your blogs on microphone abuser and India's largest selling newspaper is a TOI-let paper are good.
May be your blog on the seminar was quite humours, I don't agree with your views. If what you have written was the one happens commonly in the seminar, then why do the organisation and government spend tons of the money for it. More than the knowledge transfer, its networking what the people gain while attending the seminar. I am writing this based on my experience of attending few seminars.
Dude, I haven't heard of any seminars being conducted for non-stop 48 hours.
If there is any one seminar of such kind, inform me. I will register to have new experience of listening to nonstop presentation.
I also feel seminar and conference are the only place scientist and CEO meet together which seeds for the technology transfer to the industry.
Anyway I appreciate your smartness of publicizing your blog. Keep blogging
No Hard feelings
yours
Deepak Balaji T.G.