Saturday, July 31, 2010

Peace - flat 50% off...offer till stocks valid

Its been sixty three years of talks.....piece wise peace talks between the two countries. yet what the common man finds is a flickering candle with bad food at the table. sixty three years is a long time and is the average life of a man in many countries. the recent talks between the two representatives of the countries reminds of exactly two things: a dialogue of javed jaffery in a dumb movie called salaam namaste and a song by megdeth.

i am not in a mood to review a movie whose claim to fame is a lip lock between the lead actors and some good moment thrown in few and far between the start and the credits with a welcome break. however javed jaffery had the best one liners in the movie. one of them stands out :

"the ghost of the kicks not listens to the talks"

this is probably the most apt statement that our politicians and their nuclear ilk will do well to remember and more importantly follow.

Megadeth is known for their screa(m)arathons and equally heavy guitar riffs and also for the fact that their main agenda for their being is to make metallica seem like an amateur marching band (thank you dave mustaine) but i am really not interested in band politics.
however megadeth has a song 'peace sells but no one's buying...'

guys grow up...if its not in a discount sale or end of season stock clearance no one here is going to buy it


Sunday, July 18, 2010

To: M/s Anurag Kashyap and Vikramaditya Motwane

have to doff my hat to the writing skills of M/s Anurag Kashyap and Vikramaditya Motwane. right in the middle of jamshedpur, in a hospital, a wizened old man beckons the young rohan n the younger arjun n says :
"arre kaviraj...... you know the day destroys the night
n night divides the day;
break on through to the other side"

.....never an inappropriate moment to quote the Doors, eh
rest in stupor n drug induced peace, u wastrel;
dead @ 27 but hardly forgotten

The killer toffee

it so happened that me and my good friend shveta stepped out of a covenience store armed with probly two buck worth toffees instead of change. i was actually taken aback by the toffee wrapper that was an electric fluorescent pink that would have put to shame all the pink neon and fluorescent lights to blush pink with shame. the toffee went by the name of candyman's toffeechoo. Why would any sane candyman name a toffy as toffeechoo unless he was hallucinating from LSD or high on pot? anyways, not withstanding the wrapper, the name and ignoring the warning from the sane lady...i went ahead and unwrapped it. there was a stony silence and yet another warning went unheeded. the toffee was saturated with sugar and some colouring that almost matched the wrapper. i popped it in my mouth. time passed slowly..very slowly, before reality hit me bad, really bad. that was also when all the unheeded warnings and indications also hit me bad, really bad..even worse than reality.....the toffee that i had popped was actually not just saturated with sugar...it was hyper saturated. the silence might have been stony but my teeth were still made of highly paste brushed enamel. the toffeecchoo actually clung there, refusing to budge like a mighty buffalo in a six feet wide highway and still transmitting shock waves up my teeth, sending me into convulsions with my jaws resting on my hands in a futile attempt to arrest the shocks and aftershocks.

that was when i realised that the toffee bit my teeth. Kak....now i realise how it feels to have someone's teeth sinking into you.

P.S: i sincerely wish i had known abt this toffee in a killer's disguise before 26 Jul. would most certainly have sent it across the border for the infernally querious shah.

Saturday, July 03, 2010

vuvu.....

I just experienced the vuvuzela face to face n even had a chance to display my musical genius. can tellu this for sure....it sure is fun playng it rather than listen to it......more like the synchronised trumpeting of a thousand horny/thirsty elephants running for a cow/pub. the other scene it reminds me is of calvin b...lowing his trumpet @ 4 in the morning on his unsuspcting parents bed :p:p....wicked right?

Roo babies

Dear ronaldo, rooney n other cry babies,stop tugging n pulling others sweaty shirts, they too are sponsored like urs; why dont u come to FS, we'll give u 1 for less than a euro or buy 1 n get 10 free

An ode to the pigeon

O pigeon chested carrier, you aerodynamic error;
An illiterate terror in air, you know not the physics of flight
O bomb dropping splat crap shit;
...You are the rotten worm infested apple of the glazed royal eye
feeding on free channa,grain and rye;
Of suraj and prem's eye singing kabutathar ja ja
not bye bye Miss Amreeki pie;
Go do your doodoo in Nawabi Lucknow
There are many statues for you now.

Murgis Law

If u park the carrr or the baikke below the trrree vichhh hass a kabutharrr nesttt in itt with a jointtt phamilly......then u vill getttt shittttyyyyy designs onnnllyy. Please take the baikke kaovers to india pheshun week......it willll beee a verrry verrry bigg successss B-)


come home to channa

most of you might have heard this song somewhere or the other- blaring from someone's car speaker when u are returning weary from work or @ some disc where an insane DJ plays some equally insane number of punjabi numbers with the same beats but highly indecipherable high pitched lyrics, basically just somewhere.i happe...ned to chance upon this when i was walking down the corridor to my room.

the song went like channe ve ghar aajave...or something to that effect.now i know that this song is by some baldie but what i want to know is that how can channe come home just like that? dont u have to but it at some provision store?

if so then why does the singer want it @ home-is he planning to do channe bhature? if so is it for lunch or breakfast or dinner?and would it be with a tomato onion gravy or floating in a litre of oil?but more importantly are channe nuts to just walk home if some one sings his hair out????